Listening to: The more I seek You - Kari Jobe
It's been two weeks since I joined the new class! Most, if not all, of my new classmates are quite friendly to me, gratefully! Thank God for that! Within the first few days I've recognised and remembered most of my classmates' names! =p Okay to be frank, I was trying to memorise. That's why I could remember their names fast, and blend into their group easily? =) How? Facebook does the trick! Adding someone into your friend list in Facebook will definitely improve your ability to remember names. Well it works for me, at least! =p
Okay why am I keep writing posts about PE1? I don't know, just want to share my thoughts with everyone, how I spend my time in the new class and so on. During break time I tend to hang out with a group of new friends, and a large portion of them were from Catholic High School, PJ. Haha I was supposed to go there, but I didn't. My younger sister did, anyway. Most of them tend to play ping pong (at Wisma Subang) after eating lunch (during break time), and I join them every time they go! I'm interested in playing ping pong too, cause my dad is quite good at it! But he never taught me. I found my ping pong skills improved over these two weeks. =p That's quite awesome! haha! =)
Jojo Pan Mee, char siew (roasted pork) fried rice, famous pork noodle, and Subway (on Friday cause there is a breakfast set at our break time) are among the regular food they have every week. Crap, until now I haven't tried the pork noodle cause usually we need to wait very long (at least 40 mins) for the order to come. 18 months in Taylor's and I haven't tried eating pork noodle even once! So much to be a Taylor-ian. Epic fail. =/
How are the lecturers doing? My first post about the new class depicted quite a lot on my new lecturers. After 2 weeks, here's the real one! My classmates are not really satisfied with my FM 2 lecturer (Ms.Wong) and Physics lecturer (Mr.Subra). Not to offend anyone, but I don't know, my friends just don't really like their approaches of teaching? I should first clarify about Mr.Subra. Indubitably he's good, especially at doing notes. I think his notes are quite detailed and awesome. He even has all this notes handwritten, good job for that! =) But I think he's not really attractive at teaching. His way of teaching is mundane, boring. He's not 'sharp' enough at answering questions asked by students? That's what they said. Hmm.
Ms.Wong? I don't know, but my friends kept complaining about her. One of my classmates said she's okay in teaching mechanics, but when it comes to statistics, fail. She asked students to look at examples at the textbook (A Concise Course in A-Level Statistics by J.Crawshaw and J.Chambers), and explained from there. But unfortunately the students disliked this way of approach. They said they could even read from the textbook at home, if that's the case. How Mr.Teh (my previous FM2 lecturer) taught me was really awesome! He entered the class (without textbook and only one marker pen? *gasp* ) and started to teach, by writing formulae on the board and explaining the concepts to students.
I think this way is more effective cause students had to listen attentively to his teachings, otherwise will not going to understand what he said. He then selected a few exercises from the textbook and asked students to attempt it. Sometimes he asked students to take questions from past year papers and attempt it. See? Isn't it more effective than Ms.Wong's way of teaching? I think so. For me, I can understand what Ms.Wong was trying to teach cause I have learnt those in Mr.Teh's class. But how if it's new to the students (my classmates)? I don't think I could understand too, if I were in their shoes. =( Hmm, for other lecturers, they are all quite awesome and doing great! =) Keep it up!
That's all for now! Ciao~ =)
well Khoo here
ReplyDeleteBasically you are a good writer
But do remember to keep friend problems personal to yourself
Because you are still in the same class as them
and i believe there must be times where you guys will talk again
Yea, so the worst case scenario is
they really read this and what will they think if they are not intended to ignore you or already trying to make friends with you? xD
Just my opinion :)
Hello Khoo! Wow is this the first time you viewed my blog? =p Thanks for the compliment anyway!
ReplyDeleteI'm okay with most of them la, just her alone and maybe one or two more. But that doesn't make the majority of the class so it's fine for me.
If and only if, they ever read this, and if they are not intending to ignore me or already trying to make friends with me, then... I will have knew it before writing all these?
Hmm.. they will only be acknowledged that I felt uncomfortable. Sorry if me too, causing stress to them. =)
Simple principle: People treat the way you treat them. But this is not necessarily true, although most of the time applicable. Hmm. Need to change something.
Dear Nick,
ReplyDelete"She's my classmate and I don't know what to do? She has her own gang of friends, and most of them don't really talk to me too. =( Okay they are girls, it's normal for them to be 'shy'. I should have initiated the conversation with them. Just ignore then. I can't do anything, no? There you go, again I'm judging too much. =( How many times do I have to remind myself not to judge people, over and over again? All these didn't come in one day, but 6 months (of knowing her)! =( In conclusion, life is sucks if someone is ignoring you, especially for no apparent reason! And he/she just leaves you hanging there, awkwardly. Oh by the way, she's not going to read this (I hope) cause I've removed her from my friend list in Facebook about a month ago when I was clearing my friend list. I only add friends who I know personally in real life and of course, I'm comfortable with. So PE1 classmates (if you happened to read this), now you know why I never talked to her even in the same class for 2 weeks?"
I believe it to be very selfish and quite rude of you to write this post and telling your entire 'history' between you and your 'junior'. Your entire paragraph is based on nothing but ASSUMPTIONS. I don't think you've heard what people say about assumptions.. so I'll type it here for you and hopefully you'll remember it for the rest of your life. "DON'T ASSUME BECAUSE IT MAKES an ASS out of U and ME."
You say that her 'gang' of friends don't really talk to you because we're 'shy'. I will tell you here and happily do it in person that I am the most not 'shy' person in the entire world when it comes to communication. I personally introduced myself and my 'gang' of friends to you and expected you to take the initiative to talk to us... but you didn't. I have no idea why you didn't. Why Nick, Why? Maybe you’re the shy one? Ask anyone in PE1 and I can guarantee you that they will say that I talk to anyone and everyone. Even strangers…. So, don’t you blame me for your problems.
You tell yourself that you shouldn't judge people in your post that does nothing but judge people.... From the 'appealing' classmates to the lecturers to your 'junior' to the 'not that appealing' classmates. What hypocrisy!
I understand that this is your two cents worth (maybe half a cent) but I hope that someday, you'll understand the value of Privacy and Respect.
You write this post, with no regards to how your 'junior' might feel and even ask my classmates to read this. What is your intention really? to mock her? to gain sympathy from PE1??? I don't see the whole point of this.
I understand that you did not expect me to read this but please lah… word gets around faster than quicker than I can say ‘peanut’. . You’ve imprinted judgement onto the PE1 classmates (those who actually read this…) about your ‘junior’… and I find that to be most selfish and disrespectful. ..
I have so much to say but I don’t think my words will change your views anyway…… so….
I read the Kite Runner recently and this is what I’ve learnt from it. There is no greater criminal than a theif.. He who robs another of love, of life and in your case… of privacy. Instead of assuming everything, I’d suggest talking things out instead of harbouring hate.
I hope this doesn't come off as a hate letter to you because it really isn't. Just felt the need to say that this isn't right. You can write about this but why ask the pe1 people to read it?
I still cannot understand the purpose of this post.
Sincerely,
Julia.
Dear Julia,
ReplyDeleteIt was such a surprise to see you here in my blog! Welcome anyway!
Yes I was writing this post based on lots of assumptions so sorry for not clarifying that. For I was assuming you girls are 'shy', of course that doesn't include some of you, particularly you. You are definitely not shy, that's quite obvious.
Yes I'm the shy one and I never tried to deny that. I don't talk to people easily and without any common topic, that will exacerbate the situation. It'd be harder for me to start a topic.
I wouldn't deny the claim that I was being hypocrite. Well I did judge people throughout the whole post, so there I reminded myself not to judge people next time. I was just sharing what I thought of you guys, nothing more. About lecturer, that's what I heard, so I just wrote what I heard. I wrote nothing much about the lecturers except some advices that they might adopt next time. About the 'junior', I don't deny that I was judging her. Sorry.
How my 'junior' might feel if she read this? Considering the fact that she never considered how I will feel when I was being ignored, I don't see the reason for me to be considerate as well.
Plus, *to answer your question*, I never ASKED our classmates to read this. Get this right! Did I post my blog's link at the class's group page? NO! I didn't. Also I never intended to mock her, or tried to gain sympathy from PE1.
I was merely clarifying why I didn't talk to her for 2 weeks. Some of you guys might feel weird for scholars from the same sponsor didn't interact at all, although in the same class.
Sorry but yes, my post was disrespectful and selfish. But.. this is MY blog, anyway. This is the place for me to write ANYTHING I want. I show no respect only towards my junior, not other classmates or her gang of friends. Sorry if I've offended some of you.
For me, I'm definitely open for everything. I've tried talking to her (few weeks after she moved to Casa, but she was like... ignoring me?) Not that I never tried, but I had! Result? I gave up. I wouldn't try to attempt something that I kept failing at, something so 'uncertain' that I have no idea what to do next.
Thanks anyway for your intention to tell me that writing this post isn't right. I know that it's not, I apologize for that. In the end, I still couldn't do anything to correct this situation.
Why don't you ask her why she ignored me in the first place? That will definitely help me to understanding the situation better, and of course finding the solution! =)
One more point to strengthen my point of NOT asking our classmates to read this INTENTIONALLY, I wrote in the end 'So PE1 classmates (IF YOU HAPPENED TO READ THIS),...'. I said IF you happened to read this, now you know why I didn't talk to her for 2 weeks. Well of course, that's if you've noticed that.
ReplyDeleteYours sincerely,
Nicholas
"I was merely clarifying why I didn't talk to her for 2 weeks. Some of you guys might feel weird for scholars from the same sponsor didn't interact at all, although in the same class."
ReplyDeleteDo you think you have clarified anything after sharing the 'romantic' story of yours with your junior with the public? It seemed more like you were telling people how badly/rudely/coldly your junior treated you which was your assumption and yeah, like julia said, what's your intention? What would the others, especially the classmates who read it, think about your junior.
I don't understand why you're making such a big fuss about your junior not talking to you. Really.
"How my 'junior' might feel if she read this? Considering the fact that she never considered how I will feel when I was being ignored, I don't see the reason for me to be considerate as well."
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU. IT WASN'T BEING INCONSIDERATE. IT'S CALLED - BEING DISRESPECTFUL
well, this is starting to get quite amusing... judging from the level of maturity said 'junior' has, I sincerely expected a higher level of maturity from another Bank Negara scholar....
ReplyDeleteLike my coach would say to me....
"DON'T BE A WHIMP! MAN UP AND FACE THE PROBLEMS FACE ON."
not hide behind a blog post.
See you next semester. Looking forward.
Hi, so I'm the 'junior' that was being mentioned of course.
ReplyDeleteInitially, I didn't want to post anything here because in my opinion, such things are PERSONAL. However, things are beginning to spiral out of control as you have chosen to make it not so personal after all. Firstly, you do reserve the right to publish whatever you want as "But.. this is MY blog, anyway. This is the place for me to write ANYTHING I want".
Nevertheless, I was appalled by your level of immaturity. Honestly, I do not ask for your consideration but I want to ask for some sense of responsibility as a blogger. If everyone were to go around tainting others' images, I don't know what will become of the world. I understand that you have not the slightest intentions of making the other classmates read this (or not) but you do know the meaning of mass media right? "So PE1 classmates (if you happened to read this), now you know why I never talked to her even in the same class for 2 weeks?" What was the meaning of this sentence, then, may I ask? By writing it, you were anticipating that some of them will read it, no?
"I show no respect only towards my junior". That was a bit hard to take in as I still respect you, which was the reason why I did not choose to make a public display of my impression about you. I tried my utmost best to give anyone an unbiased description of you when asked. In fact, I have not spoken to anyone anything particularly bad about you. Clearly, this is not the way round with you sullying my name. Hence, I felt that there is a need for me to clarify the issue. I don’t think you could sit back and watch if you were in my shoes. Truthfully, it was very painful for me to even sit down and write all this and I am baffled by how you could have spent the time to write a blog post about me.
So, yes, I added you on Facebook back in, say, June (I can't quite remember) as everyone was adding around, but hey not all of us go around saying hi all the time. "We used to chat quite frequently in Facebook (some random stuffs, can't remember)" Most, if not all the time, the chats were started by you. At first, I made it a point to be polite and replied. Then, you also added me on MSN. I felt a bit uneasy as every time I appeared online, you would come and say hi, including unusually odd hours like the wee hours of the morning. Perhaps you were very good at juggling your time, but that's not the case for me. I have other things to attend to when I am online. Besides, there was really nothing much to talk about and you would just say hi without anything further. So, how do you expect me to respond, Nick?? Maybe it is fault on my part for having bad elaborating skills. Sometimes, I did say that I was busy before excusing myself. Maybe I was too subtle that you didn't get the message, I don't know. Also, I do not see a need to notify you that I have moved places since we're just the most casual of acquaintances. In a nutshell, every time you talked to me, I did reply except for the ‘hi’s with no continuation.
"When I bump into her in college or bus or Casa, she never greeted me as if she didn't know me" I believe communication is a two way thing. Did you ever come and greet me, no right? The same applies to the current situation. "She has her own gang of friends, and most of them don't really talk to me too. =( Okay they are girls, it's normal for them to be 'shy'. I should have initiated the conversation with them. Just ignore then. I can't do anything, no? As a person entering a new class, you should try to take the effort to get to know people. Do you expect everyone make the first move? Does anyone owe you a living? Welcome to life, man. It is also very distasteful of you to say that all girls are shy. That is only one of the many judgmental remarks you have made throughout. If my memory does not fail me, I do remember Julia introducing herself and all of us to you. She even offered to shake your hand but clearly you did not reciprocate the formalities. Have you ever initiated any conversations with my ‘gang’ up till this point? And oh the contradiction. One moment, you say you should have initiated, another moment you said you should ignore. I think you should make up your mind, really. From what I see, your post is very judgmental and full of contradiction. It sounded like you have inner struggles within your mind. You have such a strong sense of what you perceive to be right, but let’s not get into that.
ReplyDelete"I'm okay with most of them la, just her alone and maybe one or two more. But that doesn't make the majority of the class so it's fine for me.
“If and only if, they ever read this, and if they are not intending to ignore me or already trying to make friends with me, then... I will have knew it before writing all these?
" I show no respect only towards my junior, not other classmates or her gang of friends”
You say you only have issues with me, but the paragraph above mentions maybe one or two more. I think this is very unfair of you as they have not done anything to you at all. Have you ever thought that others also have their impressions of you as well? But they don’t voice them out in public because they understand the value of basic respect. We all have a myriad of personalities and distinct characters. Not everyone can be best friends with each other but we all try to be civil. This is how we preserve peace. About how you would know if they wanted to try to make friends with you, it sounded as though you want us to please you. You have only known them for two weeks, for goodness sake. Not to mention the lack thereof interactions. Yet, you have already laid down the judgment.
Lastly, I sincerely apologise if I have done anything to make you feel uncomfortable. You can still go on with your opinion of me. I can’t be bothered. However, I would like to say that my impression of you is that of yet another neutral person. I ask a favour of you to remain cordial and maintain a sense of professionalism as inevitably, there are interactions between us on a day-to-day basis in the near future.
Just give Nicholas a break please. As if no one here has ever been judgmental or a hypocrite one way or another, consciously or subconsciously. My perfect example. Do we all like having friends who are bad hats ? The understanding of moral principles is that friendship should not be barred by prejudicial views of a person's physical well-being, behavior or preference. If that is the case, why do a lot of us with a nagging-like-conscious do not have the affinity to befriends people who are not the best of people ? I can safely say I've been friends with bad hats before, but I also admit it was my subconscious instinct to avoid them as well. So, everyone is claiming Nicholas is being an immature hypocrite. Look in the mirror people.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, this is a necessary value people need to have when it comes to blogging, tolerance. If you are smart enough to know whatever people may write about you is incorrect, all you have to do is just say it not spray it. Tell the person personally you are not like that. Raging out in a blog commentary ? There are better ways to channel anger, people. Blogging is in regards to an online public diary of sorts. It's quite common for a person to find something online which may describe you in the most negative way possible, because not everyone will view you as some angelic being who has done nothing wrong. Your friends may have good views on who you are, but maybe other people have seen another side of you ? If anything, it should mean that we are to be more careful about our presentable self when we are in public, and not just in front of friends. Besides, all Nicholas was writing about his experience of insecurity of being ignored by a certain person. He even phrased it in non-offensive language and has never once associated her with a derogatory term like so many I could think of right now. If anyone has a problem with this, well boo hoo. Obviously someone has a little pride when it comes to being criticized in the slightest bit. If people can get angry at such superficial levels of judging a person, and at the modest usage of language, then people, I'd love to see some really violent reactions when you head into the working world. You'll meet colleagues and bosses who will speak more of just your behavior alone on a superficial basis. They will insult and make a mockery of even your most inner being and existence.
In all my life, I have been criticized as someone who is loud, which I am sometimes unconsciously unable to control myself. So, what do I do ? Apologize to every single person I've offended. In the other flaws of my character which include insensitivity and expecting too much for people, I've also learnt to take criticism worse than what Nicholas has written about and turn into something positive, not ranting a petty appeal for attention to claim I am not such a person.
So, if whatever Nicholas has written that any of you find offensive, I challenge you to live a life of sainthood, that does not tolerate even the slightest amount of judging. It's only reasonable we become absurdly idealistic when other people are able to emulate that sort of lifestyle. Period. I rest my case.
Thanks for trying to play judge!
ReplyDeleteNot.
well, like he said, it's his freedom to write whatever he wants in his blog and it's also my freedom to comment on it. yes?
Boo hoo. :D
You ask us to give Nick a break without considering the effects of this disrespectful post on my friend. I am one who cannot sit back and watch as this person does this to a friend. Any friend for that matter.
Thanks for your self righteous comment. I shall attempt to learn from your wise advice.
Peace.
If something false about you went public would you just sit down and watch? Instead of just listening to one side of the story why not the person involved reveal and explain for himself/herself. "Raging out in a blog commentary"? What I see is 'telling the real story' and 'standing up for yourself'
ReplyDeleteSomehow or rather the post went viral and eventually you got to read it (sort of expected though when Julia posted a comment), Cheng Mun. I’ve always deem my blog to be my space to write anything I want, my inner thoughts. I never actually viewed my blog as any some sort of media mass as my blog is not famous. Yes I was referring to you, but I never wrote your name explicitly. Perhaps there exists some sense of respect I have to you although I was denying it. Nobody will actually know it was you except some closer friends with me, or our classmates obviously. For the phrase of ‘if you happened to read this’, that was just in any possible case that some of them might read it. I wasn’t really anticipating (as not many people know about my blog), but only clarifying for the particular case. Anyway, thanks for the respect you’re having on me (hopefully, still)!
ReplyDeleteI believe I will have to clarify this. Sorry for giving you discomfort due to my random pop-outs in chatbox/msn. It’s quite common for me to start a conversation with others online but not very easy in real life. I find it a bit difficult to approach people in real life. I was shy, perhaps. But that shouldn’t be an excuse for me to not socializing with others. Sorry to say, but most of the time when I pop out a random ‘hi’ to people, I was just… bored. No life. =/ A random ‘hi’ with no continuation can only mean the person was bored and wanted to kill boredom by chatting with others. But I failed to realize that others are busy most of the time, and I’ve learnt that. I learnt everything through personal experiences, which include mistakes most of the time. That was me, but I’ve changed. I find myself more hobbies (play chess, blogging, read others’ blogs especially economics and trading blogs, learn trading) to attach with, to kill time.
I’m new to the class, and I was trying hard to mingle with everyone else in the class. Perhaps I didn’t talk much with your gang of friends due to my preconception against you, and of course followed up by stereotyping of you with your friends. Clearly you’ve made it clear by saying that we all have myriad of personalities and distinct characters. Thank you. Everyone has impression of friends around, and for that I would be more than glad to know what their impressions on me are. I firmly believe that one of the ways to improve ourselves is by knowing what others thought of you. One mistake that I’ve made was treating the blog as my personal diary and wrote out everything without thinking much. Again I’ve learnt.
You’re right that I don’t know them much, so I’m definitely looking forward to that. Again, you’re somewhat right that I have inner struggling within myself. That’s just me and nothing could change that. I have lots of contradictory thoughts, and I tend to do something before thinking it deeply. I seldom talk much in real life, so blogging is the only way I can voice out my inner thoughts. I believe everyone has two sides of his/her life, appear angelically or devilishly in the face of public. The higher proportion of one side will then determine overall impression by others on the person.
After all the unnecessary fuss, I sincerely apologise to all who were offended by my previous post, for my mistakes, for my immense immaturity and judgemental remarks. I guess it was merely a sudden rush of emotional description of yours, Cheng Mun. It's been really long that I had this prejudices against you and now I realized I was wrong. Everyone learns from mistakes and me is no exception. Hope you will forgive me, and no worries as I will still be cordial with everyone. Happy Holiday! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! God bless you! =)