The person i have waited for such a long time, didn't seemed to realize anything about my feeling to her. I know i have made a wrong choice, wrong in getting interested in her. For a couple of times, she hurt me with her words either accidentally or maybe intendedly, i don't know. Every time after she realized that i was sad, she'd try her very best to console me and not to make me sad. However, every time due to my soft heart, i'd just forgive her and pretend that nothing has just happened. I know, she don't want to have any relationship for now due to her past history, but i just made a wrong choice. I just feeling peculiar as i have gave her a lot of hints on my feeling, yet she still didn't realized it, maybe she was heartless, or maybe she knew about it and acted to know nothing. I just don't really know about it. Maybe, i should just give up on this. I just don't know. For me, love is about caring about somebody and wanting the person to live happily and smile always. I knew that she'd definitely read this, and i hoped that we'd at least still be friends in the end. =)
I never had the habit of journaling, and it was never my thing. You see, I had a hard time polishing my language skills. Having grown up and educated in a Chinese primary school and surrounded by Chinese-speaking community at least two third of my life, I had the tendency to speak and think in Chinese. English was out of my realm of mastery. Mandarin Chinese is my mother tongue after all. Ironically I have been widely misunderstood as being a 'banana' - a Chinese who only speaks English. It seems I do have a 'banana' look. I have been told that I speak and write English better than my Chinese sentences, which the latter often seems to be awkward and to some extent, trying too hard. Can't really blame me right? I have not been consistently writing Chinese for the past 10 years. But this is blatantly deceiving! My English proficiency has not always been acceptable. Reading back my blog posts even just 5 years ago brought myself to embarrassment. In short, I d
be gentleman lah
ReplyDeletego and get her
confess your feeling
=)))
thanks for your advices... =)
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