As I walked towards the gate of my office after work, I saw this guy also walking towards the same direction with his friend. He’s my friend but his name seemed to vanish from my mind for a temporal moment, so for one whole minute I walked behind their back quietly. I hoped he never spotted me because I was ashamed of my wonky memory. When I finally managed to recall his name, he spotted me walking behind him and his friend. I couldn’t call out his name on time, so I just addressed him as “bro”. Hey Bro! How’s it going? The rest remain history.
I believe I am not alone in this.
I KNOW! I know. It sounds trivial. Not remembering other people’s names
is a small matter and everyone does it, right? To be honest, yes it is. But if
you come to think about it from a larger picture, this seemingly trivial matter
has the capability to trickle into larger issues, and could be the one mammoth
factor in determining one’s success in everything. Many business leaders and
politicians knew this golden key and it helps them to manage people. It weaved its
magic in the past, and will continue to do so in future.
After one week of barely reading a proper book (I read mostly random
articles from websites and blogs), I resumed the book “How to Win Friends and
Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. Again the insight I’ve gained was proved to
be extremely relevant and practically real. Yes I know you are pretty good at
guessing, and you guessed it right. It is remembering names.
I have to admit, I was (am) not very good at remembering other people’s names.
In fact, this is one of my weaknesses I have been trying to work on. Where are
the places and events you will get to meet a lot of new people? Networking
events, church, conferences and during transitional periods. When you meet new
people in church after service and during prayer meeting. When you just started
working, you have hundreds of names to remember but everyone else has only one
name to add into their mind. Unfair right?! We will get there.
"Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language." – Dale Carnegie
Consider this
one CEO working in a company with the same group of employees, but under two
very different scenarios. In Scenario A, this CEO can only recall the names of
the top 10 names working closest to him. As you might have guessed correctly
(again!), they are other top executives, heads of various functions and the
general manager. On top of that, no one else.
Then in
Scenario B, the same CEO acts very differently. He knows everyone by names,
from the cleaners to the cafeteria workers, from junior executives up to the
Board of Directors. Who do you think will be able to perform better, leading
the company to the right direction and achieve targets within the shortest period of time? You knew
the answer again, don’t you? Smarty pant.
Now that we
know it’s important to remember names and just by doing this can have an
immense impact in getting others to put us more favourably against everyone else, what
can we do to remember names? It’s not really of our intention to forget their
names though! Blame our short term memory and for some people, like me, our brains just work this way! Maybe there are some little tricks to
remember?
Repeat. Repeat. REPEAT. One thing about our brain is when we
say out a name repetitively, we tend to remember it easier and better. You won’t
notice it, but your brain knows what it is doing. By repeating something, you
are emitting signal to your brain saying this is important, MUST REMEMBER! The
magic works this way. If you tell your brain to remember this, it will.
Conversely, when you don’t value this person highly enough, you are essentially
saying “This is a waste of time! Can I go home now?” and then by the time you
ended the conversation with the person, you don’t even remember his/her name. Chances
are, he/she will be extremely glad to know you still remember his/her name the next time you
guys meet each other.
Keywords also work wonders in helping you to
remember names. It is critical to link their hobbies, careers and anything else
you can think of to the person’s name and voila! You are well on your way to remember
him for eternity. I’m joking, you don’t have to remember his name for eternity
if you don’t want to. But in case you WANT, remembering keywords is going
to help. I tend to categorise people I know into few categories. Previously,
based on what they study; now based on their departments/companies or what they
do for a living.
Because I am
feeling good today, here is one personal tip for you – SOCIAL MEDIA! We all know how much
social media has transformed the world, making it a more well-connected
community. Through Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, you will remember someone’s
name almost instantly. I don’t know about you, but it works for me.
That’s why
when I meet new people anywhere I go, I will tend to search them up on Facebook
or LinkedIn (for professional contacts) and add them right away, otherwise I
will forget them by the next morning. So folks, don’t freak out when I suddenly
add you on Facebook. I just want to be your friend and it helps me to remember
you also. Unless of course, you don’t want me to remember you, then it’s fine. =/
Let’s
practice this new skill today – try to remember as many names as possible. It
will help you develop your vivid lifelong impression in other people’s minds.
