Valorous Halcyon

Is there a day you just don’t feel like doing anything, but to lie on your bed staring at the ceiling and do nothing? Skipping everything you told yourself you will do every day and find yourself lack of motivation to continue doing it? That’s me right now, but I’m glad I have finally written my first three sentences to kick start my writing mood. I am demotivated. I have missed my gym session today, but I had an intensive badminton session yesterday evening. Excuse.  Where do we find motivation anyway? I am curious if you would let me know your source of motivation, I will try to tell you mine. If you don’t have one, please read on. What drives you to do everything you are doing? Is it genuine passion and your love for the job keeping you where you are? Or is it financial security? Indeed one of the biggest challenges is to achieve breakthrough in your workplace. Quitting your job you don’t enjoy is one of them.  Today my motivation was nowhere to be found. I woke...

This morning I read about something that saddened me deeply: a recent American horror story on Elisa Lam's death in Cecil Hotel (L.A.) which had spurred multiple conspiracy theories. It began as one of the greatest mysteries because the story was so perplexing with incomplete information. The infamous history of Cecil Hotel definitely made the case worse. You may find the full story here . It eventually turned out to be a doleful tragedy that hit me. She was a young 21 year old Canadian of Chinese descent hailed from Vancouver who suffered from depression, but her depression and fear eventually took over. She was so paranoid and wanted to hide from the callous world, and she had found the perfect place in the hotel: water tank. There you can imagine how the story ended: She was drowned and only to be found naked at the bottom of the water tank after missing for 2 weeks. Elisa's death has many uncanny and eerie similarities with the movie Dark Water, a Japanese horror fi...

I don't even know where to start. If I were to list out things I fear, events or objects or people who I fear, I simply have no clue on the numbers. I have lost count. But I, along with other cell members, were asked this question by our cell leader yesterday during my church's cell group meeting. I kept quiet the whole time, didn't know what to say because I have too many fears. But I have been thinking. Fears can be categorised into a four main types: controllable and uncontrollable external, controllable and uncontrollable internal . But even fears that were controllable would seem uncontrollable in times of encountering it. For instance, I feared of lizard and I would have only one thought in mind: RUN! Some people are afraid of cockroaches, especially ladies. I used to be scared of cockroaches but after a few times of killing roaches operations with smashing skill acquired from playing badminton, I've learned to overcome it. These are the examples of con...

Handling people is never easy. Because of mismanagement or rather lack of the ability to properly manage people, businesses go tumbling and talents move to the rivals. It all comes from the top to bottom. If only every boss knows this key, no employee working under him/her will ever complain again. Not a single successful CEO can retain his/her top position without mastering this key. Firstly, what makes me qualify to talk about this? I am not a boss after all and I definitely have no practical experience to handle people, I just started working two months ago. But I have an indirect mentor. This mentor is called book. That's why when you read a book, you start to think in the author's mind. You have an uncanny ability to delve into the author's perception and knowledge. It is like a superpower I strongly encourage you to leverage on. Highly accessable.  Few days ago I started reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Cargenie. A ve...

Upon coming back from badminton session last night, my dad started nagging me about the abundance of my shoes bought throughout the years of my secondary school, even before me entering college life. As a background, my dad very rarely nags at me so this has got to be a serious issue. He grew up in a poor family, so as my mom from a fisherman family background, so he thinks buying another pair of shoes before the old one is broken is plain wasteful. But I just kept buying, not at the expense of my own hard earned money, but from my mom's pocket. This explains his frustration. But to me, every different pair of shoes serves different purposes! I realised I had once tried to play football and so I bought a pair of football shoes, just to be hit by the fact that I barely play football after I moved to a boarding school when I was in Secondary Four. I started playing more of basketball in school so I bought a pair of basketball shoes. This may not sound serious to some people especia...

I was a worrier but now I am a warrior. I am almost 100% sure many people can relate to this. We tend to worry too much. I used to worry about everything and anything I can think of. Sometimes I even joke that maybe this was one of my reasons pursuing an actuarial degree. Actuaries tend to ask a lot of "What if"s throughout their career, but that is one of the qualities that makes them worth a few million dollar. Because I was a worrier. Typically a worrier tends to be more risk averse, as compared to someone who is carefree and confident. Do you often find yourself worry about things happening around you? I did! In fact most of the things that we worry about never happen! When we are worrying, we give way to anxiety and obliterate peace in our heart. I was always worrying about things. I got worried about my exams, about what to eat for breakfast, lunch and even dinner, my university selection, my interviews, my career, my future, my financial situation, my presentation...

So I have finally finished reading "Winning the Game of Life" by Adam Khoo last weekend. To summarise the entire book into one or two primary ideas seem to be degrading because there are just too many insights on steps to achieve success. Today I will focus on just one key idea - Loving Yourself. How is that a key idea? Many times we claim to be loving people around us so dearly, and by loving them it means wanting the best for them, helping them achieve their goals and live a happy successful life. But often we tend to settle less for ourselves, set a lower bar/standard so that we can easily achieve the goals, only to realise we have not really achieved anything significant. Why? Here is a person you have been living with for your entire life, wouldn't you want the best for this person, standing right in front of you when you face the mirror? Loving yourself is one of the first and foremost quality one must possess to position him/herself to success. As the adage ...

So yes people! Just in case you were still living your life thinking that it was April, WAKE UP!!! Well I did, until I realised it's no longer April. It's already May now, exactly 1 week to the commencement of my A2 Final exam! OMG!!! =O Yet I'm still not quite prepared yet for my exam. To be precise, I still have 13 Physics past year papers to be completed, and I forgot a lot of the previous papers. I always fail to tackle questions asking for explanations and that's when I will get stuck. =( I'm just afraid I might explain it wrongly. But that shall be improved over this week as I trust in God! God will help me to get through this! Amen. So today Pastor Kenneth Chin is finally back after 3 weeks of attending mission trips and stuffs! And of course he came back with an extremely awe-inspiring sermon! Can't wait for it? Here it goes! Bible verses: Matthew 13, 2 Chronicles 20:20, Matthew 6:32-33 - It's important to be led by Holy Spirit when going to oth...

Most people are emotionally driven, and that includes me and most people I know. We feel sad and heartbroken when we lose something; happy and excited when we gain. But what I would like to discuss here is the overwhelming sadness engulfing us when we lost something. Losing something, in my opinion, is a very common experience that everyone would encounter at least once in a lifetime (even that also considered as extremely rare). The 'magnitude' of sadness engulfing us largely depends upon losses that hit us, either in the matter of finance, health, relationship with friends and family , and loss of a loved one. Seeing the sadness and heartbrokenness that overwhelmed me and some of my close people due to financial loss, I would love to go deeper into it and share some of my views on financial loss. This was particularly evident yesterday within my circle of close people. Some individuals kept emphasising the emotional pain of losing something expensive, without realising th...

I'm ALIVE! And the chestpain hitting me yesterday has subsided, though minor pain still can be felt occasionally. The bliss of living another day enlivens my day with gratefulness; appreciating every single moment through. One of my friends told me the primary reason for not having new year resolutions is, due to highly probable restrictions faced to sole new year resolutions and no further plans. For new year resolutions are deterministic and impromptu plans are pure randomness. 'Live up the day as if everyday was the last day you have' was what my friend told me, and I fully concur with the implication of contributing significances to the society by practicing such wise advice. Well I'm back to the library! err, yeah college's library if you are wondering. There lies many memories of mine, particularly college life, for the past 19 months. It's been more than 6 months now since my last staying back in the library, mainly after I started joining gym back in J...

Yesterday night, when I was driving back home (Myvi) from Casa (near Puncak Jalil/Bandar Kinrara), a stupid reckless driver drove his Honda City so fast and followed my car so closely, driving impatiently. The driver kept changing lane just to cut all the cars in front of him. But what is that related to me? His stupid behaviour provoked me and made me frustrated. As the result, I tail-gated him (after he drove pass me) all the way, until my mom stopped me, and of course followed up by her nagging. Sorry mom, for putting your life at risk. I just realised how stupid and selfish I was, just to give the driver a taste of his action. Why did I do that? One thing is, I hate it when some stupid drivers tailgating me. I just couldn't bear with their stupid action, of putting every road user's life at risk! The probability of crashing into some objects when he's tailgating others or driving recklessly on local streets is definitely very much higher than ordinary drivers. Other...

Well, as the topic above, i guess i have to find other alternatives then. Wasted my 6 bucks, and made me sad due to the pathetic rejection for the whole night yesterday , the only paths for me now are A-Levels on my own, waiting for JPA and BNM scholarships applications, or maybe Form 6 STPM in the end if my parents still resist me to study A-Levels due to the risk i would bear upon graduation. Well, after spilling out all my miserable sadness yesterday night, on Facebook, MSN and the blog now, thanks to my friends who consoled me yesterday and today, I feel much better now. Oh, and thanks to Nicola, who made me laugh by sending 15 funny messages to my inbox this morning(3-4am), and constantly tried hard to console me with a huge hope that I would be feeling better soon. Thanks again! =) Well, Matriculation is not everything, and i did post up at Recom, stating that i won't accept it anyways if i get it(Well it was just a consolation to myself!). My hopes to study overseas on my ...

Well, sorry for neglecting this blog and the readers, again. =.= I have to admit that, I felt really sad for these few days due to the continuous rejection over my scholarship application. However, thanks to Glassylicious, a caring approachable big sister in Recom family, she helped me to get rid of  my miserable sadness, give me precious advices and support me from every aspect. As the most unforgettable advices from her, she said that, scholarship is like a lotteries, and don't put too much hopes on it. For every place of scholarships available, its like 10 other students with the same excellent criteria with you, battling for the only one place. Inevitably, there'd be 9 other students who fail to get the place, and that person might be you. It's not that you are not great enough, but there's other people who are greater than you. It's the loss of the scholarship corporation for losing you, so stand up now and proof them that they are wrong for not choosing you as...

Hey, finally i got back my mood to update this blog after days of neglecting it. Thanks to nodame, cause she gave me the mood to update this blog. I really sorry for the hiatus, the days that i didn't update the blog seemed like years, and my hand got itchy as time passed. I can't really leaves my blog, i guess. As the hot cakes now, everyone are talking about their SPM'09 results and at the mean time, hunting for various scholarships and hope to be called up for interview. Personally, i believes most of my friends have already know about my result. For those who still don't know, I have achieved 6A+ (Maths, Add Maths, Physics, Principles of Account, History and Moral) and 4A (BM, BI, Chemistry and Biology). Albeit the result i have achieved was slightly out of my anticipation, but yet i still feel really happy and satisfied with it. It's still string of As by the way. In fact, it was considered as 10A1 according to the previous grading system. I really wished to th...

It's time for us, to pray hard, to calm our soul and mind, to hope for the best and prepare for the worst; No matter what'd be the outcome on the result slip tomorrow, be well-prepared always and never regret nor give up on anything we do. As Syazwan Zainal(my third batch senior) said once to me, "acceptance is the best policy", and i think it's indeed very true. Hope that every SPM'09 leaver'd get their result as what they have anticipated. Good luck everyone!!! =)

Well, as usual, today's lesson is yet one of the most exciting and exhilarating car driving experiences for me, and each time drew me closer to my form of perfection in my driving skill. Well, frankly speaking, my car engines still stopped at several occasions and maybe i was just too tired. Last night, i just slumbered for 4 hours and seriously, i encountered hard sleeps for these few nights, kept on thinking about everything. Everything. Result, car driving lesson, etc. Albeit i have closed my laptop and head to bed at 12.30am, yet i just can't stop thinking, even i have tried my best to close my eyes. Hope that this'd not be exacerbated into insomnia. Luckily, at 2am, i successfully drifted into the dreamland.At 6am sharp, my mom woke me up and i dashed down the stairs to prepare myself. At 6.15am, everything was done and i was ready to out. At the driving lesson, almost everything was perfect for me, and i meant everything. Uphill, 3-point turn, parking and "on t...

Yeah, as the title above, tomorrow i'd be attending my third car driving lesson as early as 6.30am, and i supposed that this lesson'd be extending until 10am, just like last Thursday. Undeniably, it'd be my last car driving lesson before i faces the most frightening judgement day in my whole 17-year-old of life; a day that'd leave either a sweet memories or a scar in my fragile, brittle heart, on this coming Thursday. Despite having a hard sleep for these few days, there is nothing much i can do for now and the fact'd be remained as a fact. The only thing that i can do for now to calm me down is just praying hard for my anticipation to be fulfilled. But, no matter what'd be appeared on the result slip this Thursday, i just have to be open-minded and accept everything. Anyways, just hoping that i'd be enjoying my third car driving lesson tomorrow. =) p/s: Tonight is rather silent without her, for the first day. =(

Well, nothing much i want to say, but sleep did really helped me. Sorry for being emo-ing yesterday my dear, and i just can't act like you never popped out in my life. Your existence is a very invaluable gift to me, and i hoped that you'd live happily just like usual, with me as a best friend. =)

"Out of clutter, find simplicity."   This is one of the famous quotes from Albert Einstein's The Three Rules of Work and i have been applying it when i played the game of "Cube Field". Most of my friends found out that the game is actually very hard to play, and sometimes i myself found out that when the game was played to a certain extent, it was actually quite hard to cope with the sudden changes in speed as well as the colors. After i have set a record among my friends in Facebook for the "Cube Field", i'm actually find it hard to get back my top score and even set another top score. In the attempts of getting back my top score, i found out that i would be easily become tension due to the some distraction caused by my family members. My mom shout easily but in fact just to tell my sister and me to eat the excess rice tomorrow for lunch, and my sister distracted me and wanted me to teach her Physics Form 4 chapter 2, about the velocity time graph...

In this very tranquil morning, as i was enjoying my nice sleep, my father woke me up abruptly in a rush mood and i just can't think anything by that time. So i just followed him to downstairs to help him as what he has requested. After gazing at my father's car out of the gate, i closed the main gate by using the remote control button from inside of the house. My father said that his remote control suddenly couldn't functioned normally and the main gate can only be closed by using the button inside the house now. So, the first day of March, in that very serene morning, fulled with the twittering and chirping of the birds, and the sound of insects from somewhere far away, i helped my father after having 3 hours of slumber. I was supposed to continue my sleep 15 minutes ago, but i just don't really know the exact reason, the temptation of the computer was just way too strong i couldn't resist it. So, i just started up my computer and enjoyed it. Just on my Facebook fo...