Thursday, 29 October 2015

The Intertwining of Two Greatest Desires


This morning I read about something that saddened me deeply: a recent American horror story on Elisa Lam's death in Cecil Hotel (L.A.) which had spurred multiple conspiracy theories. It began as one of the greatest mysteries because the story was so perplexing with incomplete information. The infamous history of Cecil Hotel definitely made the case worse. You may find the full story here. It eventually turned out to be a doleful tragedy that hit me.

She was a young 21 year old Canadian of Chinese descent hailed from Vancouver who suffered from depression, but her depression and fear eventually took over. She was so paranoid and wanted to hide from the callous world, and she had found the perfect place in the hotel: water tank. There you can imagine how the story ended: She was drowned and only to be found naked at the bottom of the water tank after missing for 2 weeks. Elisa's death has many uncanny and eerie similarities with the movie Dark Water, a Japanese horror film released in year 2005. 

I remember that movie. That was one of very few horror movies I have watched throughout my entire lifetime simply because I am not a big fan of horror movies. And because I am scared. But Jesus told me He will be walking with me every day, so I eventually thought those horror movies were ridiculous. 

But Elisa's death struck me in two ways: she only wanted to be loved, AND to be understood

Indeed these two things are the greatest desires every human being yearns for, on top of our basic necessities and needs. We all want to be loved and to be understood. That's why we are living in a community. That's why we have friends and family members. If you do not have a friend, find one! If you can't find, I am here for you. Because so often even your own family members do not really understand you due to lack of communication and busyness. 

More often than not, your family members love you, but they may not understand you truly. Shallow conversation may be the dominating component in your family communicative sphere. What truly breaks the cold relationship is heart-to-heart pillow talk. Okay it doesn't have to be pillow talk but a sincere and open discussion will do as well. I am personally having a hard time at home. I don't get the privilege to talk heart-to-heart with my parents, because I was not confident I would be able to seek wise advices. I would rather seek advices from some other friends. 

But I was sometimes proven wrong. 

Only when I am willing to open my heart and discuss about an issue whether to parents or trustable friends, I am able to discern the advices given. Although many of the advices may not be wise and appropriate, I have the liberty to choose carefully whether to follow. But many people are not able to open up their heart and share their issues with friends and family. What if the person does not trust others enough? What if he/she was facing depression, just like Elisa?

If you can do this one key, it would almost immediately make you multiple times more likeable: Get genuinely interested in other people. Many people don't. We are selfish creatures who only care about our own well-being and happiness. Maybe today is the day we can start changing. The best antidote to solving anything that we have no power to control over is by changing ourselves. Adapting ourselves to an evolving environment requires immence efforts, offering ourselves to genuinely care for one another doesn't. 

It can be as simple as asking a genuine "How are you doing today?", or as troublesome as sacrificing your time and effort to understand and listen to other people. The Golden Rule is a famous maxim stating "One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself." Imagine if you genuinely care about someone. While you are not supposed to expect the same return, more often than not the same amount of kindness would be reciprocated to you manifold. 

What if you can't exhibit the same level of warmth and get genuinely interested in other people? You may be telling me, "I have enough problems of my own and I don't even have time for myself. What more other people?!" Maybe you need to start downsizing your responsibility portfolio and realign your priorities. If you do not have the time for other people, it is not going to be sustainable in the long run. We are emotional beings and we need supports in times of crisis. 

What if you are just as moody as I often get and don't feel like asking other people on how are they doing? I don't know about you, but I am pretty sure I had this thought before: "I am getting more and more depressed by days, and I can't see the light at the end of tunnel. It's all dark and gloomy. Everything that seems so easy to other people seems 1000 times harder to me. People can make friends so easily, laugh and live as if it was their second nature. I can't. I am an utter failure I wish I could sleep myself to death. I hate myself. " 

Maybe it is about time you join a community. I am glad I have found a community that truly and genuinely care about me, and in turn it nudged me to bless other members within the community too. It is really not a rocket science. My community is where I call my second home. My church community. My cell group community. We are all binded by the common core values and belief with Jesus being the centre of it all. 

It is not difficult to find a community. When I just finished my high school national examination, I joined ReCom (a student forum served as a platform for information exchange) and I found a community of like minded young people who were just like me. Maybe you can form a work community at your workplace as well. Or if there is already one that suits you, even better! Join them! You will never regret joining a community because of potential unlimited upside. More true friends. We are emotional beings after all, no matter how logical you may think you are. 

I'm glad I have found mine. Have you? 


Favourite Music! =)