Tears is the most precious liquid ever flow out from a girl's eyes, and yesterday night is the first time she cry out, for me and in front of me. I'm really sorry, i didn't meant to hurt her and i hoped i didn't. From now on, i swear that i won't bother her anymore, and she would no need to offline to fix everything back to normal now. I just want her to live happily, and she would no need to care about my feeling, whether I am sad or happy. I know i'm not worth it for you to cry about. My heart is brittle and scattered now, and i don't think anyone else has the glue for me. I just need to be alone, until the glue for my dispersed heart appears from her. I won't find anyone else, and i will still wait for her even until i succeed in my own career. =(
I never had the habit of journaling, and it was never my thing. You see, I had a hard time polishing my language skills. Having grown up and educated in a Chinese primary school and surrounded by Chinese-speaking community at least two third of my life, I had the tendency to speak and think in Chinese. English was out of my realm of mastery. Mandarin Chinese is my mother tongue after all. Ironically I have been widely misunderstood as being a 'banana' - a Chinese who only speaks English. It seems I do have a 'banana' look. I have been told that I speak and write English better than my Chinese sentences, which the latter often seems to be awkward and to some extent, trying too hard. Can't really blame me right? I have not been consistently writing Chinese for the past 10 years. But this is blatantly deceiving! My English proficiency has not always been acceptable. Reading back my blog posts even just 5 years ago brought myself to embarrassment. In short, I d
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